My Enemy’s Enemy is my Friend

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It is a culture mostly perpetuated by women.

A warped cultic, terribly myopic, way of life.

Half the time, women bequeath their enemies to their friends.

Half the time, it takes just a few words to carry out the conferment.

It will not be surprising to discover that the inheritor, piling up fresh enemies like Mark Zuckerberg piles up good money, have never had any encounter with the ‘enemies’.

It just happens that in female friendships, oddly, you become heiress to the good, bad and ugly that should be none of your business.

It is one way women stay poor. We choose lousy gossipy friendships over tangible business relationships with other women.

You have to think like a poor person to pick up another woman’s bad habits and bad dealings.

How does it concern you who she is fighting? Why not build your own experiences? And if you have to be a baddie, build your own damn enemies from first-hand ruffles.

Zero discernment, poor judgments, lacking in discretion.

You would think there’s a lot of money to be made from gossip. Half the time, gossip lacks any credibility, as all you know of the enemy is what you allow yourself to know.

People exaggerate other's flaws just so they can gather around to talk about them.

“Do you know she has a pimple on her butt?”

“Oh no. Who grows a pimple on the butt?! Such a shame!”

“How can she live with herself with that pimple on her butt?”

“Na wa oh. That pimple na wa oh.”

But with the pimple on that butt, she has been able to build structures, carry out successful projects, shape her brand in ways that will leave the rest of you dizzy.

But you are built for hate, you cannot take your eyes off the pimple. Poof! And the pimple is gone, yet you stare at that lonely space, hoping another pimple sprouts so you can have more reason to talk dirt with your group of inheritors of bad business.

A project I handled recently came with the requirement to sack everybody on the team if I wish to and build my own team. Someone had spent a good amount of time telling me shit about the group.

But I didn’t sack anyone (Ok, just one person had to go), I got to KNOW these people first. And when I did, I realised this Someone was wrong. Yes, they had their issues. No, they were not issues big enough to let them lose their jobs. As a leader it was my job to fix the issue and guide the team to the direction we had to follow.

And I did. A project that pays so well, and a team I am proud to call my own finally emerged from the ruff.

I didn’t let other people’s words decide.

But I have not always been this way. I have indeed inherited enemies before, until I realised I couldn’t pay rent or buy a new pair of shoes by becoming heir to other people's enemies; so I got rid of that smelly habit. If enmity must happen, let it be my experience, not one picked up from someone else's trash bin. Not some bad inheritance that I cannot verify.

Life is intertwined, how do you end up making enemies based on hearsay?

Focus on your bills. It needs half the attention you pay to people who don’t care what you think or say about them.